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  • How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk
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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
1,436 global ratings
5 star
76%
4 star
13%
3 star
8%
2 star
1%
1 star
1%
How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk

How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk

byAdele Faber
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Top positive review

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Falcon
4.0 out of 5 starsWas not very useful with my teen, but surprise, surprise, worked like a charm for my 7 year old.
Reviewed in the United States on December 4, 2017
I have a 15 year old daughter and while there are no major problems and we communicate very openly and honestly about everything, there are still moments where I feel that either I am treating things the right way or she is being rude. I bought the book hoping that it would greatly improve our already good rapport. This book is probably very helpful for parents who do not have an open line of communication with their teens, parents who are either too strict or too lenient or too afraid to have honest conversations with their kids. I did not find the book personally to be very helpful because my daughter has the maturity of a 25 year old and will laugh at some of the most of the tricks and tips described in this book. However, this did not turn out to be a complete waste because I started using some of the techniques with my spoiled little bratty 7 year old and it worked! An example: one evening he was majorly pissed because he could not get home in time to watch his TV show. So instead of trying to calm him down in a traditional way by telling him that it was not a huge deal, I used the fantasy strategy from the book and said "Wouldn't you wish the car could just fly and we would be home in a second?" Right away, his tears stopped and he said "Yeah, and I also wish that you could always go back and see the missed parts of your shows" to which I said "You know, someone thought about that and invented DVR, we don't have it at our house, but we can look into it, OK?" At that point, he was all smiles. One very important point I learned from the book, as parents, we tend to often disregard our kids feelings about what we perceive to be minor things such as missing a show, but to kids, these things are major. We can't expect them to yet understand that such small problem is nothing compared to major bad stuff that happens in the world.
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269 people found this helpful

Top critical review

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Amazon Customer
3.0 out of 5 starsHelpful resource BUT homophobic content
Reviewed in the United States on March 5, 2021
I am a therapist and ordered this book so that I could get a sense of whether or not I would recommend it to the parents of my teenage clients (I am not a parent myself). Overall, I found the book enjoyable to read with plenty of relatable examples and tangible strategies for approaching conflict in a constructive way. However, I was very disappointed in the final chapter of the book by some of the author's comments regarding how a parent reacts to their child being gay. On page 178, she writes "Coming to terms with a teenager's homosexuality is never easy for any parent." This type of language and rhetoric reinforces the idea that to be gay is problematic and reveals some of the author's personal bias against LGBTQ folks. I do think it is important that parents are provided with tools and resources for ensuring that they are able to have supportive conversations with their children about sexuality, bu this one section of the book needs to be updated to reflect more inclusive language that does not connect gayness with something to be feared or dreaded by parents.
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65 people found this helpful

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From the United States

Falcon
4.0 out of 5 stars Was not very useful with my teen, but surprise, surprise, worked like a charm for my 7 year old.
Reviewed in the United States on December 4, 2017
Verified Purchase
I have a 15 year old daughter and while there are no major problems and we communicate very openly and honestly about everything, there are still moments where I feel that either I am treating things the right way or she is being rude. I bought the book hoping that it would greatly improve our already good rapport. This book is probably very helpful for parents who do not have an open line of communication with their teens, parents who are either too strict or too lenient or too afraid to have honest conversations with their kids. I did not find the book personally to be very helpful because my daughter has the maturity of a 25 year old and will laugh at some of the most of the tricks and tips described in this book. However, this did not turn out to be a complete waste because I started using some of the techniques with my spoiled little bratty 7 year old and it worked! An example: one evening he was majorly pissed because he could not get home in time to watch his TV show. So instead of trying to calm him down in a traditional way by telling him that it was not a huge deal, I used the fantasy strategy from the book and said "Wouldn't you wish the car could just fly and we would be home in a second?" Right away, his tears stopped and he said "Yeah, and I also wish that you could always go back and see the missed parts of your shows" to which I said "You know, someone thought about that and invented DVR, we don't have it at our house, but we can look into it, OK?" At that point, he was all smiles. One very important point I learned from the book, as parents, we tend to often disregard our kids feelings about what we perceive to be minor things such as missing a show, but to kids, these things are major. We can't expect them to yet understand that such small problem is nothing compared to major bad stuff that happens in the world.
269 people found this helpful
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Robert, Connecticut
4.0 out of 5 stars was recommended
Reviewed in the United States on June 1, 2019
Verified Purchase
All the self-help books in the world.
The golden rule.
Listen.
Be patient.
Respect is a two way street.

But it's all easier said than done
12 people found this helpful
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Alan Edwards
4.0 out of 5 stars Nice layout and explanations
Reviewed in the United States on October 3, 2013
Verified Purchase
Nice layout and explanations. The cartoons make it a good way to see the examples in how an actual communication would go with your teen, so I like this series of books. Simple and to the point with actionable steps, to an often difficult problem of communicating with your teen.
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Fast FIngers Murphy
4.0 out of 5 stars Useful Material
Reviewed in the United States on May 27, 2018
Verified Purchase
The techniques of mindful listening, thinking, and speaking that are discussed in this text seem really useful in the everyday world.
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Oregon
4.0 out of 5 stars Recommended
Reviewed in the United States on July 22, 2018
Verified Purchase
My therapist raves about this book. I'm giving it four stars without reading it yet.
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R.H.P.
4.0 out of 5 stars I found some useful ideas, and language
Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2014
Verified Purchase
I found some useful ideas, and language, to use with my teen son. Not perfect, but like most parenting books if I find a few good tips that work I consider it a success.
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ocean runner
4.0 out of 5 stars This book had a lot of great content, but I felt like the delivery was ...
Reviewed in the United States on August 25, 2017
Verified Purchase
This book had a lot of great content, but I felt like the delivery was a little cheesy. If you can get past that, though, I actually thought the suggestions and communication tactics were very helpful. My husband is a PhD marriage and family therapist, so this type of information is something we read a lot about in our home, and I thought this book had good things to add. It's a lot of tips about validating your teen's emotions and connecting with them on a deeper level than the issue at hand, thereby making it easier to actually hear them and, in turn, be heard by them.
One person found this helpful
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Low Rider
4.0 out of 5 stars Timeless issues with Teens
Reviewed in the United States on March 1, 2018
Verified Purchase
Reading this book, you realize you’re not alone out there. Even though kids come without user’s manual, the sum of parents are it. Recommended to all parents with teens, because we all face the same issues sooner or later. Only downfall: the book is too short... needs to be followed up with a workshop!
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Product Review Quartlerly
4.0 out of 5 stars Pretty good
Reviewed in the United States on September 3, 2016
Verified Purchase
The format was different, easier to visualize the message. It's almost as if it could be a manuscript for a great documentary.
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Tranceformer
4.0 out of 5 stars Useful and effective techique
Reviewed in the United States on March 1, 2015
Verified Purchase
Useful and effective techique!!!! I am not a book fanatic so the comics style story in the book helped me to read more.
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