Amazon.com: Customer reviews: After I Do: A Novel

Reviewed in the United States on June 4, 2021

“After I Do” is my second TJR novel, and I already know it won’t be my last. The premise of this story is so incredibly simple, yet so deeply important at the same time. A husband and wife have come to the realization that they are no longer in love after being together for eleven years, and have agreed to a year-long trial separation to find out if they can patch up their marriage.

What I liked most about this book is it’s realistic feel. Whether you are married or not, you will find that the circumstances and dialogues feel so familiar and raw, that it will bring this book to a wholly relatable level.

I also genuinely enjoyed the unfiltered stream of thoughts and internal conflicts brought upon by the wife’s first-person POV. The characters in this book are so flawed, that it makes their development throughout all the more satisfying to experience.

I honestly did not think I would enjoy this book all that much after just reading its synopsis, but TJR has pleasantly surprised me with her ability to take a simple concept and put a refreshing twist to it. This is a beautiful book, and I recommend it to anyone looking for a realistic plot centered around love, compromise, family and self-discovery.

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⭐️⭐️Four Stars⭐️⭐️

Reviewed in the United States on February 14, 2020

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“Look at the things we are capable of in the name of the people we love.” - After I Do.

SYNOPSIS: When Lauren and Ryan’s marriage reaches the breaking point, they come up with an unconventional plan. They decide to take a year off in the hopes of finding a way to fall in love again. One year apart, and only one rule: they cannot contact each other. Aside from that, anything goes. Lauren embarks on a journey of self-discovery, quickly finding that her friends and family have their own ideas about the meaning of marriage. These influences, as well as her own healing process and the challenges of living apart from Ryan, begin to change Lauren’s ideas about monogamy and marriage. She starts to question: When you can have romance without loyalty and commitment without marriage, when love and lust are no longer tied together, what do you value? What are you willing to fight for? - After I Do.

REVIEW: Since I have been back to reading lately, I have heard about this book from everyone saying how good and touching it is. And I totally agree. This book is hard, beautiful, and heartbreaking. While I have never been married, I have been in serious, long-term relationships so I could resonate with most of the stuff this book talked about. However, I imagine if you have been or are married, this will resonate with you even more and probably hit you harder. This book was an emotional read, but it brought up so many important topics and concepts. This is the first Taylor Jenkins Reid book I have read, and so far I love her writing!

I loved the characters in this book and their relationships. In the book, we read from Lauren’s perspective and really get to know her emotionally. We also get to know her family, their family dynamics, and her relationships with them, which also enhances the themes in the book. Further, we see Lauren’s growth as well both personally and within her relationships. I also enjoyed Ryan’s character, although I felt we didn’t know as much about him, probably because we didn’t read from his perspective. The way the way the author wrote made me feel connected to, and care about the side-characters too.

Overall, I rated this book a 4. I enjoyed it, however felt that I wished it went a little deeper into some areas and topics in the book. Maybe further emotional exploration or further content about the year the couple spent away from one another. I would recommend this to anyone who has been in a series relationship or is married as well. I think this was a touching book, and can be a great conversation starter about marriages, love, and relationships.

8 people found this helpful

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The Autumn Review

The Autumn Review for AFTER I DO

Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2014

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I sat on this book for months. I purchased it right when it came out, but I just couldn't bring myself to read it. You see, I went through a divorce this year and I just wasn't sure I couldn't handle bringing up the hurt again. Things are better now. I am better. So, about a month ago I pulled the book out. When I tell you that I devoured this book, I mean I literally couldn't put it down and read it within a few hours. It's rare for me to find reads like this anymore. Don't get me wrong, there are some fantastic books out there, but this one just hit me on such a personal level. Plus, the writing was amazing. I felt like I was talking to a girlfriend throughout the whole book.

I really don't want to recap the story, but I will tell you that what Lauren and Ryan go through was so very real. It's so easy to become disconnected and complacent in a marriage. To me, that's what happened to Ryan and Lauren. They became so wrapped up their every day lives that they truly forgot about honoring each other and their marriage. It was sad to read about how things began to crumble, but again, so real. They didn't have problems that happened over night. It was a series of miscommunication, lack of interest in each other, and they simply forgot all the reasons they fell in love in the first place. I think when life sets in and the rose colored glasses come off, it's hard to keep a marriage, or any relationship alive. You have to deal with the pesty little things like hygiene habits, laziness, snoring, farting, and other unpleasantries. The little things continued to build for Lauren and then it become a bigger issue.

Even though it was hard to read at times, seeing this couple go through something so challenging was really rewarding for me in the end. I won't tell you if they make it or not as a couple, but I will tell you that they learned so much about themselves throughout their separation. Another thing that hit me hard while reading this one is, that the couples who can make it through hard times, may not always be "in love". Sure, they love each other, but I think in long term relationships/marriages, there are times that you aren't necessarily in love with your partner. It's finding ways to fall in love again that helps to make it last.

Overall, I can say without a doubt that this is one of my best books of the year. Yes, it reached me personally, but I also felt that there were some really great messages throughout the book for everyone. It truly has something for every reader; self discovery, heart ache, falling in love, and family complexities. Seriously...read this book!

55 people found this helpful

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Thebookbella

💙💜There is no right way in love, there is just💜💙love.

Reviewed in the United States on July 7, 2019

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4.5*

This book is about Lauren and Ryan. They meet in college and fall in love. After 6 years of dating, they get married. And after 5 years of marriage, they fall out of love. Wanting things to work out, they decide to take a break from one another for a year. No texts, no emails, no contact.

This book has just as much to do with the individual as it does with our relationship to love. Everyone approaches love and relationships differently. What is right for one couple is completely wrong for another. This captures that idea to perfection.

Lauren and Ryan are told by so many people that this year long break is a mistake. That being apart is not working things out. They are constantly criticizing by "people that seem to know better". But this also shows that really no one has any clue about love. We just know what has worked for us, and try to pass along this wisdom to the people we love and hope it works just as well for them.

My biggest love of this book is not the individual journey Lauren takes to find out more about herself through her love of Ryan. It's all the ways in which people approach and interpret love.

Rachel, Lauren's sister wants to fall in love but she is also happy being by herself and developing her career. This works for her.

Lauren's mom is seeing a man that treats her like a princess, but she knows the moment is fleeting so they well not progress past the initial love stage where they spend tons of time together. She is happy with her love life for now and that works for her.

Charlie, Lauren's brother has many different flings that result in one that sticks. Committing to someone he hardly knows because.....reasons (this is a spoiler so I'm not telling). This works well for him.

David, a man Lauren is sleeping with is still hung up on his ex that cheated on him. He keeps his distance because it is what he is told to do by other people. Because "you're supposed to leave someone that cheats on you". He doesn't know how to move on and continue to love her up close. He has to keep his distance to protect himself from the pain. But this works for him.

This book is an embodiment of "THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO LOVE, THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. THERE IS NO ONE THING THAT WORKS FOR EVERYONE. THERE'S JUST LOVE". And I love that about this book.

The only thing that caught me off guard is how how much I didn't like Lauren and Ryan at the beginning of this book. But the further I got into this book the more I liked them.

9 people found this helpful

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Sandoval Family

Could Not Put This Book Down

Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2022

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TJR knows how to write an engaging, addicting story. She gives you characters that you care about and understand.

This story is about Lauren and Ryan who have been together for 11 years, married for six. When their marriage starts to severely strain, they decide to spend a year apart to see if they can recapture what brought them together in the first place. One year apart with only one rule: they cannot contact each other.

The told is told in the first person from Lauren’s perspective. She gives you a short flashback of their entire relationship revealing the small and seemingly inconsequential moments that are actually little fractures. Lauren finds herself a journey of self-discovery, self-worth, and self-realization.

Written with an achingly familiar reality, this book was impossible to step away from. TJR really captures what it’s like to go through a breaking point in a marriage. The depression, the loneliness, and the obsessive thinking were incredibly accurate to my own personal experience. So needless to say, I was very connected to Lauren.

What I loved about this book was the reality of the situations and humanity of all the characters. I could read a book about every person in this book, every character offered such great perspectives and came in and out the story as individuals and not accessories.

This is a story that will stay with me for a long time.

One person found this helpful

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NenetteU

Highly recommended

Reviewed in the United States on November 28, 2017

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Love is the foundation of marriage, but more than love, being married is more about the commitment: The commitment to make it work, to not give up when the going gets tough, because you have that foundation of love to care for, to save.

After I Do is a very apt story for any married couple struggling with the familiarity and the “boredom”, that left to fester can really be disastrous. Granny Lois said it best - one cannot expect to be happy all the time in a marriage. The story teaches that there are no hard and fast rules to marriage, that each couple is unique. It only asks for each spouse’s full commitment and promise to not give up.

The story revolved around Lauren and Ryan who’ve reached a point in their marriage where they both resent each other. The author was able to demonstrate the different facets of relationships and marriage through their family and friends whose own love and relationship stories blended with theirs. A great read: five stars for the stark reality portrayed here... Highly recommended for the married, the not yet married and even the not getting married types.

8 people found this helpful

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Joanne Ragona

Deep and real look at the complexities of marriage

Reviewed in the United States on August 14, 2020

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A look at the trials and tribulations of marriage through the eyes of a young couple wondering where things went wrong. After I Do explores how we can lose ourselves in the process and how communication and honesty need to be ever present. It also shows how we need to learn to lean on family and friends even when we might not want to heed their advice. The story centers around Ryan and Lauren but we mostly get Lauren’s POV. Something about her...her maturity and selfishness rubbed me the wrong way. But I did enjoy watching her character evolve throughout the story. And I was cheering for Ryan and Lauren from about page 4. Overall, I really enjoyed the story and characters...it was a deep look into the complexities of marriage and learning that “all you have to do is never give up.”

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Yvonne VP

Should be a required read for all couples!

Reviewed in the United States on May 14, 2016

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What happens when the person you’ve married and vowed to spend the rest of your life with, is the one person that you can no longer stand to be in the same room?

Lauren Spencer goes off to UCLA and during her second year, meets Ryan Cooper. They’ve both noticed each other in their “normal places” when Ryan waits for Lauren in the dining hall stating “Are you following me or what?” They joke with each other over dinner that night, go out with each other the next, and become a couple – young, happy, and inseparable. They meet each other's families, and two years after graduation, they marry. The author tells the story starting with an event that occurs in present day, then goes back to retell of their meeting, courtship, and early years in marriage. By the time you get to the present, you can feel the tension and the impending doom of their relationship.

“We can’t drop it. I’m not going to drop it. We’ve been dropping it for months now”

Constant bickering, resentment, a lack of communication, and the stress of realizing that they are no longer in love with each other has caused them to collapse.

“We aren’t fighting about the hot water or the Dodger Stadium parking lot. We aren’t fighting bout money or jealousy or communication skills. We are fighting because we don’t know how to be happy. We are fighting because we no longer make each other happy.”

They realize that they need to do something. They decide to live apart for one year, and during that time, try to move forward and see where they go. They agree that they can both date other people, but should keep contact between them minimal. After custody of the house and dog are decided, Ryan moves out.

Lauren realizes two things immediately – she’s incredibly lonely, and she doesn’t know how to be an individual without Ryan. The story really follows Lauren throughout the year, reconnecting with her sister, her mother, her brother, and other friends from work. She is forced to grow and learn how to survive on her own. While she understands that she can live on her own, the question is, does she want to? While I don’t want to go too far into the rest of the story line, I can tell you that there is a resolution at the end of the year.

The underlying message of this book is a good one: you need to communicate with your partner. You need to be an individual and learn to be independent in order to be happy in a relationship. You need to ask for what you want and need, and compromise on what the other person wants and needs. Through the story, you hear wisdom and bits of insight into how others make it work.

“Raising kids is hard. Taking care of a family is hard. And I think sometimes it gets to one or the other of us. Right now, it’s getting to both of us at the same time, which is not good”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to get over it, that’s what I’m going to do…I’m going to find a way to be nice to my partner, and I’m going to bed. That’s what I’m going to do.”

Sometimes, you just need to get to the end of the day, and get over it. Period.

Grandma's presence in the book is amazing, and has some sage advice:
“Marriage is about commitment. It’s about loyalty. It’s not always about happiness. Happiness is secondary.”

And this:

“If you had a cocktail party, and you had left him to his own devices, and you had flirted with other men and he’s seen it, or he had flirted with other women and you’d see it, if you had spent a few weekends apart from each other sometimes, given each other some space now and then, maybe you wouldn’t need a whole year apart now. That’s all I’m saying.”

Gramma’s always have the best words of wisdom, don’t they?

Having just been married, I can tell you – all of the underlying messages are true. We’ve had our “bumps” because we lived sin for eternity before finally getting hitched. What really works? Being an individual while being a couple. Talking. Fighting. Making-up. Sticking with it. Always. Remembering why you fell in love with the first place, and not the irritating things that make you want to scream. Compromise.

This is the second book I’ve ready by Taylor Jenkins Reid, and let me tell you, she can tell a good relationship story. They’re not the things that fairytales are made of – they’re real, honest, sometimes painful, and yet, endearing. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, married or single, go read this book. It’s worth it.

8 people found this helpful

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Amelia Rubino

TJR does it again!

Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2021

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Rating: 5/5
Genre: Contemporary Romance, Adult Fiction
Warnings: Marriage/relationship conflict
Read if you liked: One True Loves or In Five Years

Review: Lauren and Ryan’s marriage has reached a breaking point, they have been together for over a decade and things have shifted. So they come up with an unconventional plan, they decide to separate for a year in the hopes of finding a way back to each other. The only rule is, they cannot contact each other but other than that, anything goes. Lauren embarks on a journey of self-discovery and finds that the people around her all have their own ideas about what marriage means. In her own healing process and with the challenges of living apart from Ryan, Lauren’s views on monogamy and marriage begin to change. What do you value? What are you willing to fight for?

Okay, this book might be one of the best I have ever read that explores human emotions with raw honesty. It is such an incredibly simple concept but so profoundly important in our everyday lives. I was so “in my feelings” the whole time reading this, if you have ever been married, are married or have even been in a longer-term relationship…you will feel all your feels (I was having major flashback into my own life/relationships the whole time). TJR really has a way of exploring character narratives that are just so profoundly human and beautifully broken.

These characters really explore what happens when you start to no longer communicate your needs, desires and emotions to your partner…as well as, every marriage looks different. But ultimately, that love is a choice…You don’t need someone to want them in your life. There’s no perfect formula to love, and this book explores that “life” happens no matter what in all of our lives.

Things I loved: Lauren’s best friend Mila was such a good influence and gave amazing advice (as well as her grandmother and mother). You didn’t know what was going to happen to their marriage, it really was up in the air but I was up for the journey of it all. The emails (if you know, you know) and I would totally do this.

Things I didn’t care for: This really was a perfect book for me, nothing I would change about the story. I just want everyone to read this book so we can talk about it!

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booklover343

Really wonderful - don't miss it!

Reviewed in the United States on July 11, 2014

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This is an amazing book. The first section of the book - when Lauren and Ryan decide to separate - shows an excruciating view of how the things we found delightful and loveable at the beginning of a relationship can morph into making us feel irritated and even infuriated. It is true that little things can break a couple up. It's a sad/funny incident involving a disagreement over where they parked the car while attending a Lakers game that finally makes the couple face that they want to be apart.

They decide to take a year apart, with no contact with one another.

There are so many layers to the relationship that are peeled off and revealed by the author. To the bitter decision to separate, they both say they feel they still love one another but they just can't live with one another.

I've been married for a long time now (more than 25 years) but I was divorced earlier in my life. I understand what it takes to keep a marriage together and how one comes apart. The author really hits the nail on the head. When she wrote about them coming apart, I kept saying to my self as I read, " YES...that is exactly how it can happen."

During their year separation Ryan and Lauren both come to realize that life did not turn out the way they wanted partly because they did not tell the other person what they wanted and partly because they never thought about "marriage" being different from "courting." An example of this is that Lauren hated going to Lakers games and Ryan got tickets often. Instead of speaking up and even suggesting that she only go to an occasional game, she went but harbored some resentment. It never occurred to Ryan (nor did he ask) whether she liked going to the games or not.

In the course of the novel, Lauren's family members also experience some relationship changes and you'll find some surprises.

If you feel the ending is a bit too neat and "rose colored glasses." I can't really disagree with you. But this is a story that is very well written and filled with hope. It will make you laugh and make you cry and warm your heart. It would make a great movie.

If you haven't read the author's other book (FOREVER, INTERRUPTED) don't miss it. Taylor Jenkins Reid is an author who I will follow. Hope she is working on another novel!

42 people found this helpful

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5 star		57%
4 star		28%
3 star		12%
2 star		2%
1 star		1%

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