Top critical review
Mil Scifi written by an author with no knowledge of Mil. or Scifi
Reviewed in the United States on October 1, 2019
The opening premise is solid if familiar. A colony on the far side of the moon cuts off communication so a crack team is assembled to investigate. Intriguing if done correctly, but this is not one of those times.
From Paragraph 1: The ‘dark side of the moon’ refers to the side that does not face Earth because it is tidally locked to us, not the sun. It is not literally dark from eternal lack of sunlight. This mistake was repeated several times throughout.
Onomatopoeia is used extensively which makes the story read more like a comic book, and often to describe sounds which I am fairly sure would not travel through a vacuum in space.
Military services, stations, career progression, customs and ranks are all disjointed. The main character would not be both a rising star at Space Command and a test pilot at the same time, with multiple duty stations and a discharge before his promotion to captain. Space Command is not at LA AFB and they don’t do flight test at Wright Patterson. You wouldn’t call a Security Forces Airman ‘officer’ and there’s no such thing as a ‘Ranger Marine’.
The story does go out of its way to ensure it features a racially diverse cast and multiple sexual orientations. If that makes good science fiction for you, maybe this is your jam.
Finally, lack of editing. He/she pronouns are mixed up along with names and capitalization. Not worth the price, especially for what will become a serial.