Top positive review
5.0 out of 5 starsA woman who suspects her husband of cheating considers a revenge fling with a hot guy
Reviewed in the United States on July 22, 2021
This feels very real, and not at all formulaic. McCurran’s characters are, as usual, firmly rooted in Middle America. Michelle and Clay are both teachers, work at the same high school, married 15 years and with two kids. Michelle is in great shape and the object of student fantasies. Her sex life with Clay, who still finds her very F’able, is pretty good.
Lately it’s even heated up, but Michelle frankly doesn’t know what to make of it. Clay has introduced sex toys into their bedroom. While she goes along with and ultimately enjoys it, that and his talking dirty have her wondering what’s really going on with him. Is he bored with her? Does he entertain kinky fantasies? Or is he maybe compensating for an affair?
As Michelle’s mood darkens, it’s easier for her to rationalize her flirtation with a handsome photographer. Yes, she’s a good girl. Yes, it would be immoral. Yes, it would violate her marriage. Yes, it would be reckless. Yes, it's not who she is.
But if her husband is cheating on her, then isn’t it her turn? You can see the maelstrom of her emotions, from thinking this might make them even and married life easier going forward, to fearing the sham their marriage would become.
One thing I like here is Michelle’s finding the prospect of a cuckold husband, one who wants her to cheat, too weird to even contemplate. Who does that? She has to go online to find it’s a thing. It’s far easier for her to frame it as him cheating and her getting revenge. Darker, but it’s in her universe. Her best friend, who eggs her on, divorced her own unfaithful husband.
McCurran has grappled before with the question of whether hotwifing, or any sexual deviation from monogamy, is too big a stretch for most marriages. Readers, don’t try this at home. If you read erotica, it’s too easy to lull oneself into believing we all live in some metaphorical swinger California, where this kind of thing is known, expected, and shrugged at. Most of us don’t, though.
Michelle, considering whether Clay might somehow want her to step out, finds it so alien a concept she can’t grasp it - even though it would give her an out, even though it would make things easier, even though it might work in her marriage. In her mind, that’s not what marriage is about. The very idea shakes her foundations to the core.
McCurran renders a three-dimensional portrayal of Michelle: - sexy English teacher, trim coach, target of another teacher’s flirtation, driving a 12-year-old minivan and hoping the hot water doesn’t run out during her shower.
Up until now she hasn’t dwelled much on passing attractions to other men, or their frequent attraction to her. Even now, entertaining the possibility, she struggles to work through it. We see the whole swirl of her emotions - desire, guilt, shame, anger, wanting to enjoy life - and how that affects, say, deciding what to wear on what isn’t a date, but might be a date, but shouldn’t be a date, but that she, deep down, wants to be a date.
