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  • Man, Fuck This House
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Customer reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars
3.9 out of 5
1,501 global ratings
5 star
38%
4 star
32%
3 star
20%
2 star
7%
1 star
4%
Man, Fuck This House

Man, Fuck This House

byBrian Asman
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Top positive review

All positive reviews›
Angela Dey
5.0 out of 5 starsReally fun book to read
Reviewed in the United States on November 11, 2021
Much like most others, I bought this book on title alone. How could you not? The title is a promise that stuff's going down, and this book delivers on that promise!

It starts off promising with a lot of snarky description and really gives you a sense of the characters right away. I even chuckled at times. You can tell right away things are not happy-go-lucky with this family despite outward appearances. And because this is a horror story, that family dynamic is going to be important. Will they break? Will they bond? Will they turn against each other in some horrifying way? Must keep reading to find out.

Sabrina's first encounter with a "ghost" is really quite amusing. He's harmless and even helpful. She's freaking out understandably, but much like her new neighbor's assessment, it doesn't seem like something to be upset by. As more and more helpful but unexplained things happen, Sabrina calms down about them and really starts to enjoy the comforts provided.

But, of course, it can't always be this good, right? No, the title told me bad stuff was going to happen, and bad stuff happened.

I'm not going to spoil the rest, but know that it is totally worth your while to read this story. It's a riot. Fun, funny, horrifying, electrifying. It's weird and awesome.

And despite the fact I usually HATE happy endings, this one is an unsettling happy-ish ending that was satisfying and made me happy. I really did like Sabrina and this ending was a good end for her.
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42 people found this helpful

Top critical review

All critical reviews›
Thrill peeker
1.0 out of 5 starsMan, f*** this book
Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2021
This book was so bad. Just beyond bad.
Even a child would be able to come up with something better.
It went from one dimensional characters to complete and total ridiculousness.
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49 people found this helpful

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From the United States

Angela Dey
5.0 out of 5 stars Really fun book to read
Reviewed in the United States on November 11, 2021
Verified Purchase
Much like most others, I bought this book on title alone. How could you not? The title is a promise that stuff's going down, and this book delivers on that promise!

It starts off promising with a lot of snarky description and really gives you a sense of the characters right away. I even chuckled at times. You can tell right away things are not happy-go-lucky with this family despite outward appearances. And because this is a horror story, that family dynamic is going to be important. Will they break? Will they bond? Will they turn against each other in some horrifying way? Must keep reading to find out.

Sabrina's first encounter with a "ghost" is really quite amusing. He's harmless and even helpful. She's freaking out understandably, but much like her new neighbor's assessment, it doesn't seem like something to be upset by. As more and more helpful but unexplained things happen, Sabrina calms down about them and really starts to enjoy the comforts provided.

But, of course, it can't always be this good, right? No, the title told me bad stuff was going to happen, and bad stuff happened.

I'm not going to spoil the rest, but know that it is totally worth your while to read this story. It's a riot. Fun, funny, horrifying, electrifying. It's weird and awesome.

And despite the fact I usually HATE happy endings, this one is an unsettling happy-ish ending that was satisfying and made me happy. I really did like Sabrina and this ending was a good end for her.
42 people found this helpful
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a Seattle reader
5.0 out of 5 stars Wildly imaginative, totally unpredictable, and wonderfully entertaining horror comedy
Reviewed in the United States on December 30, 2021
Verified Purchase
Starts out like a charming, low-key haunted house novella, and then it transforms into a balls-to-the-wall horror comedy. It's wildly imaginative, totally unpredictable, and wonderfully entertaining. The characters are quirky and interesting (except for beige-tinted husband Hal, who's AWOL for much of the story). There was some confusion toward the end, but Asman tied everything together nicely by the conclusion, without resorting to an irritating mythology dump (see Poltergeist) to explain it all. The house (formerly) located at 4596 James Circle, Jackson Hill, New Mexico has earned a spot on my top 10 list of favorite literary haunted houses.

This started out as a four-star review, but I felt that the outrageous title deserved an extra star. After all, it's what drew me to the book.
14 people found this helpful
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Thrill peeker
1.0 out of 5 stars Man, f*** this book
Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2021
Verified Purchase
This book was so bad. Just beyond bad.
Even a child would be able to come up with something better.
It went from one dimensional characters to complete and total ridiculousness.
49 people found this helpful
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Angie N.
5.0 out of 5 stars Man, read this book!
Reviewed in the United States on October 28, 2021
Verified Purchase
To call this a haunted house story would not do it justice. This is one of the most unique horror stories I've read. There's creepy scenes and laugh out loud scenes. I really enjoyed.
8 people found this helpful
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Cats Luv Coffee
5.0 out of 5 stars Come for the title, stay for the exceptional twist on the haunted house story.
Reviewed in the United States on January 5, 2022
Verified Purchase
This haunted house story focuses on a family moving into a new home that doesn't exactly have the Home-Sweet-Home vibe they were looking for. Right from the beginning, this novella had me laughing out loud as the family is getting their first glimpse of the house. Mom, Sabrina, turns to the kids in the backseat and immediately delivers an internal soliloquy about her 10-year-old Damien who had "eaten his own twin in the womb" and her ensuing nightmares of him pickaxing his way out of her with his dead brother's bones. Weird? Yes. Hilarious? Also yes but I'm twisted that way. It's just the start of the dark humor that you can expect from this novella, especially where Damien— who really, really likes to mess with his mom by living up to the name and freaking her out on purpose— is concerned.

Don't think it's all fun and games. When the haunting starts with a giant man jovially carrying a box to the basement and then climbing into the tiny crawlspace to disappear, it's creepy. Only Sabrina sees what is happening and as it gets weirder, everyone thinks she's losing it. While the haunting is at first benign, it's no less perplexing and overwhelming for poor Sabrina. The more answers she gets, the more questions she has.

I love when stories manage to bring something fresh into a typical trope and boy, this novella crushes it. It takes a lot to throw me but I didn't see this one coming at all. It's wonderfully weird. It's irreverently funny. Come for the title, stay for the exceptional twist on the haunted house story.
14 people found this helpful
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Nikolas P. Robinson
5.0 out of 5 stars The Dream Home of My Nightmares
Reviewed in the United States on April 6, 2022
Verified Purchase
When the Haskins family moves halfway across the country from their previous lives in Columbus, Ohio, no one would've expected the dramatic changes that accompanied their move into the new home. It begins almost immediately, as little things change and strange messages appear, but it gets weirder from there.
As the atmosphere becomes increasingly surreal and unsettling, it's the strained and peculiar relationship dynamics within the Haskins family that accelerate everything. The odd occurrences grow more sinister as the story progresses. In large part, thanks to Damien's need to torment his mother out of bitterness that she's always suspected him of being a monster. Hal's thinking his wife's losing her mind doesn't help, either.
Sabrina is not a particularly bright woman--in addition to being both scatterbrained and indecisive--but the bizarre apparitions and wish-fulfillment manifestations are not symptoms of insanity. Unfortunately, it'll probably be too late by the time the rest of the family figures that out.
Asman has crafted a wholly unique haunted house story, turning the whole thing on its head and steering readers toward a climax no sane reader would see coming. It's both amusing and perplexing along the way, and--as one should expect from Asman--the characters are so thoroughly captivating that they draw the reader in just as effectively as the narrative itself.
If you want to avoid spoilers, you should probably stop here because I can't avoid saying things that will ruin some of the surprises.
This is indeed a haunted house story--in a whole different sense. A house that's haunted by the neglect and mistreatment of its former resident in the same way a person can be haunted by their earlier life experiences. Much like a person troubled by trauma, the house seems to go a bit overboard, overcompensating when it thinks it might have found someone who can love it for what it is. With a single-minded, short-sighted fixation on Sabrina and her well-being, the house itself might be acting with questionable judgment.
That questionable judgment becomes readily apparent as the house uproots itself and storms through town like the most unlikely kaiju ever, heedless of the damage it causes along the way.
The moral of the story is that houses need love too.
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Jillian Mandala
5.0 out of 5 stars Started not expecting much was so happy I read it
Reviewed in the United States on March 31, 2022
Verified Purchase
Ok. I just spent a few hours reading this book. I went in with zero knowledge about it. The title made me giggle, I'm a simple gal.

I couldn't stop reading it once I started. It's a short book (around 150 pages) and I would have finished it earlier if I didn't have things to do this evening.

The writing was super fun and descriptive without being "too much". The characters were well thought out and I actually was able to get a feel for them right off the bat.

It's silly for sure but it's also just a really good story. A house comes alive and shit goes down.

I did not think I would like it as much as I did but I want to read more of his stuff.

If you have a few hours to kill and want something that keeps your focus then check it out.

But you don't have to take my word for it...

Thank you Brian Asman for letting this gem out into the wild.
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Kim
5.0 out of 5 stars Man, F*** This House
Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2022
Verified Purchase
Wow! That was a ride and a half! Creepy and funny. I loved it. The characters are ridiculous, but still so relatable. Sabrina's inner commentary about her supposed demon child (aptly named Damien) is hilarious, and Damien's choice to just roll with it is amazing. Michaela is an amazing character who constantly struggles with her conscience. The dad's (what was his name again?) presence is pretty much negligible (as intended) and he plays his part well. I don't want to say too much and spoil anything, but this book will make you think twice about moving into a new house.
I will definitely read this book again in the future.
Read it!
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Beedeebee
5.0 out of 5 stars This was delightful and unexpected
Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2022
Verified Purchase
Like everyone else, I was drawn in by the title. I didn't expect to read something that managed to scare me, make me laugh, and genuinely tug at my heartstrings. The way this tale takes a tried-and-true haunted house formula and manages to subvert the standard tropes in the best ways. This was a beautiful written story with characters both well-developed and endearing. I don't want to give away too much, but I did not see the end coming AT ALL, nor did I expect to be so profoundly touched by it. This has made me a Brian Asman fan, through and through. You will NOT regret this read.
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DQ101
5.0 out of 5 stars A fun read
Reviewed in the United States on June 10, 2022
Verified Purchase
I actually came across this book in a meme that a friend posted. The title made me laugh so much that I had to order it. It was just a bonus that I am addicted to CreepyPastas and love haunted house stories. But I honestly didn't hold high hopes for this being a good read. And I was pleasantly surprised. I was thoroughly entertained by the dark humor and the storytelling. It's not really scary so I'd say even a person that isn't into horror could read and enjoy the story. Just don't go into it looking for Stephen King or Dean Koontz level writing.
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